Why can't mascots talk,
Why must they be mute,
Aren't they supposed to cheer,
Not just stand there and look cute,
What would a mascot say,
If only given the chance,
To speak his or her mind,
Have an opinion or take a stance,
I think I could learn a lot
From the half-man, half-beast,
Like how to do a backflip,
Or start The Wave from West to East,
But from these complex creatures,
I think I can learn even more,
Like how to cook a lasagna,
Or fix a squeaky door,
And I bet they know calculus,
And could give me some tips,
Or show me how to ride a bike…
While cracking a cowboy whip,
I'm sure a mascot could teach me,
About the meaning of the stars,
Why the moon affects the tide,
And how to fix old cars,
They might know some magic tricks,
Or the location of Atlantis,
And I bet they know about nature,
And the origin of the praying mantis,
A mascot could be like a mentor,
Who I'd visit every week,
They'd tell me what books to read,
And teach me how to public speak
But, alas, they are silent,
Cougar, Bear, Titan, and Hawk
There's so much they could show me,
If they were only able to talk,
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