Life of a Mascot

Why can't mascots talk,

Why must they be mute,

Aren't they supposed to cheer,

Not just stand there and look cute,

What would a mascot say,

If only given the chance,

To speak his or her mind,

Have an opinion or take a stance,

I think I could learn a lot

From the half-man, half-beast,

Like how to do a backflip,

Or start The Wave from West to East,

But from these complex creatures,

I think I can learn even more,

Like how to cook a lasagna,

Or fix a squeaky door,

And I bet they know calculus,

And could give me some tips,

Or show me how to ride a bike…

While cracking a cowboy whip,

I'm sure a mascot could teach me,

About the meaning of the stars,

Why the moon affects the tide,

And how to fix old cars,

They might know some magic tricks,

Or the location of Atlantis,

And I bet they know about nature,

And the origin of the praying mantis,

A mascot could be like a mentor,

Who I'd visit every week,

They'd tell me what books to read,

And teach me how to public speak

But, alas, they are silent,

Cougar, Bear, Titan, and Hawk

There's so much they could show me,

If they were only able to talk,

Hey! Have the Day You’re Gonna Have

Today is a day, that much we know, 

But what kind of day, only time will show,

Things are going to happen, things good and things bad,

Things are going to happen on this day you have not yet had,

Mom might let you sleep in, and go late to school,

Or she might wake you early, and have you clean the pool,

Breakfast could be delicious! Pancakes, waffles and more,

Or it could be an awful protein shake, that shakes your very core,

Perhaps Dad will drive you to school in his awesome, brand-new car,

Or perhaps you’ll miss the bus, and have to walk so very far,

Possibly you’ll find a dollar, or maybe you’ll find ten,

Or possibly you’ll lose some money, but never remember when,

Maybe your teacher will hang your picture high up on the wall,

Or maybe you’ll trip on the easel, spill the paint and fall,

Perchance lunch will be so splendid, as a fancy restaurant feast,

Perchance it will be a nightmare, featuring the vegetable beast,

During afternoon recess, you may score the winning goal,

Or recess may be rained out, and the afternoon may be dull,

Conceivably school will end early, giving you hours of time to play,

Or conceivably school will be longer, and you’ll have to do homework all day,

Feasibly you might race friends and win, on your bike ride home,

Feasibly you might have two flat tires and have to walk home all alone,

A lot of things could happen today, on this day of days unknown,

But one thing you should know for sure, is that a smile can always be shown,

So have the day you’re gonna have, and let come what may,

Because it’s up to you to say, today is gonna be a good day,

Cars Have Horns

Cars have horns,
Some honk and some beep,
Cars have horns
Some blare and some peep,

But what about cars,
With antlers or spikes,
Have you seen them,
Or do you know the likes?

Some look like bulls,
With big, long, horns,
Others are more rare,
Like the car unicorns,

And the elephant vans,
With their elephant van tusks,
Or the automobile deer,
Who are only out at dusk,

But the car-noceros bus,
Is the best of them all,
With it's two front horns,
One big and one small.

Syllabipper

People make fun,

Of the way I talk, 

But let mexplain,

Lets take a shalk,

I love to skip syllables,

I'm a syllable skipper,

But I like to call it,

Being a Syllabipper,

A superpower some say,

But I say suppower,

It came to me one morning,

While I was taking a hower,

I was singing away,

the tune to my favrong,

But I was in a burry,

And didn't have tong,

So I skipped a fewllables,

One here and one there,

Then I was fininging, 

With extrime to spare,

The skipping went on,

It just wouldn't stop,

Good book became gook,

And  sweaty policeman became swop,

'Do not' became 'don't,'

Thats a simpzample,

But a free snack at the store, 

Well that became frample,

And I've been skippillables,

Ever since that day,

I'm the Syllabipper

And I talk in a stray